Doing It Wrong archive

Date : June 2007 (3)

Bathing a twenty pound maine coone…

Categories: Family, Life
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Published on: June 27, 2007

He’s always been our little guy. He’s very timid and quiet. He hides from strangers. Never bites or bares his claws. As far as cats go he’s a seven foot queen of a gay man with a tiny chihuahua peeking out of his man purse.  But the one thing I forgot was that every gay man I know can fight like Mike Tyson after smoking a $20 rock.

He tried to climb the walls. He tried to climb me. He knocked me over. My wife thought I was moving furniture. Our soft, fat boy had, in a matter of seconds, converted the body built by a life of leisure into an engine of muscle and bone with a single purpose: escape. I muscled him back into the tub and got the soap on him. He was now not only wet but slippery. I know there is a part of me that is suicidal because I suddenly had the thought “I can keep him in the tub if I get in with him and slide the shower door shut”.

With a laugh that is only possible when your reptile brain has seized the wheel and screamed “THIS IS THE END! ARMAGEDDON!” I  followed the instructions and began to build up a  luxurious lather by rubbing the soap into his fur, being careful to avoid his eyes.  It’s kind of a blur of lathering, rinsing and repeating after that. I’m pretty sure I lost consciousness at least once but Mr Teatime appears to be clean and won’t come anywhere near me.


Categories: Journal
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Published on: June 13, 2007

Head hurts so much. I itch I ich all over. Must be some kind of flu. I cant keep anythin down. Im so hungrey but jst sick .

I want the iching and the headache to go away.


Categories: Buddhism, Journal, Life
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Published on: June 12, 2007

So I turned 39 the other day. I didn’t make a big deal about it because I wasn’t certain how I felt about approaching the big “four oh”. Saturday I had a nice time with Jyllian, Josette and Jim; we went out to a local Italian place Jyllian remembered from when she was a kid and had an interesting take on Italian food. Afterwards we had coffee at a local spot and had a nice conversation.

The funny thing is that there was a definite theme to my gifts this year. I received two books on Buddhism (How to Practice by the Dalai Lama and The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche), a decorative Buddha head in the Malaysian style, a shirt and a pair of shorts. To paraphrase Captain Esteban from Zorro the Gay Blade, I think they’re trying to tell me something…

I also got a kitten but, to be fair, that’s Emily’s cat and not mine. Two kittens were abandoned at out vets office and were destined for the animal shelter and to be put to sleep. We took one, I little girl “cow cat” named Haru (who at this moment is attacking my leg). The boys were pretty freaked out at first but everyone is getting used to everyone else.

I’m also adding a new category to this blog: Fit by Forty. I picked up a copy of Body for Life by Bill Phillips and even if I don’t get my six pack back it won’t continue to be a pony keg.

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