Author: James Martini

A brief message to cornsugar.com

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Published on: October 9, 2011

Screw you.

Stop trying to make the American public even more ignorant of chemistry, biochemistry and science in general with ridiculous statements like “sugar is sugar”. Certainly you’ve covered your ass by comparing HFCS to table sugar (sucrose) but the statement “sugar is sugar” is flat out incorrect.

Don’t believe me? Try eating a cotton shirt, the cotton fibers are composed of cellulose which is just a chain of glucose molecules, the same glucose molecules that are in table sugar and HFCS. So smile, tell me that sugar is sugar and the body doesn’t care, while you sprinkle wood chips on your oatmeal. Later, when you’re getting your stomach pumped, we can talk about why you can’t digest the sugar in cellulose.

The fact is that different sugars are processed by the body differently. Glucose is immediately accessible to the cells while fructose and galactose need to be processed by the liver. Sucrose and HFCS contain different ratios of glucose and fructose and so while they both spike your blood sugar and put on the road to diabeetus, one of them will hit your liver a little harder.

In the end, I guess it’s true that there is little difference between the consumption of table sugar and HFCS which you have rebranded as “corn sugar” (although that’s more traditionally the term for dextrose). Consumption of either in anything remotely like the amounts common in the US are going to result in obesity, diabetes and a host of other related health issues. If the father on your most recent round of commercials were even remotely concerned for the health of his child he’d cut both corn and table sugar from her diet and return them to the status of a rare treat that processed sugars once were.

Persistence of memory

Categories: buddhism, family
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Published on: October 6, 2011

Emily was interested in amnesia today when I picked her up from school. She got around to it by asking about automobile accidents and brain damage but eventually settled on amnesia; what it is, how you get it, what you forget and for how long. I can’t say I’m an expert on brain damage but we spent the drive to her choir practice discussing memory and it’s loss.  One thing that she asked that particularly stood out was her question of whether you changed who you are if you lost your memory. I don’t remember exactly how the conversation went (it’s like rain on your wedding day) but here’s the gist of it.

We’re always changing. Who I am now, this moment, is slightly different from who I was a moment ago but is quite different from who I was ten, twenty or thirty years ago. We don’t notice the changes because they’re small but they do add up over time.

The other side of that coin, however, is that my memory of who I was yesterday, last week, last month and last year acts as a guide for who I will be tomorrow. I remember being a daddy and an engineer and a Buddhist yesterday so there is a very good chance that tomorrow I will continue to be a daddy and an engineer and a Buddhist. Remembering who I was yesterday, I’m going to get up in the morning and go into where I worked yesterday, life is very much the same. The chance that I’ll get up and go get a job making coffee at Starbucks is pretty slim.

But what if I’d lost my memory and didn’t remember who I was or where I worked? The chance that I would go out and get a job working as a java monkey is going to be a lot higher. I like the way coffee smells and, not knowing I have the skills of an engineer, it might seem like a good thing to do. Without the memory of who I was yesterday there is suddenly a much larger chance that my life is going to take off in a wildly different direction.

But that’s just my job, where I live, what I think my name is. Is that really me? Will I still be grumpy in the morning if I don’t remember being grumpy? I could see her trying to work out what part of who I am was left when my memories of who I was were gone.

The drive ended at that point but I think we’d agreed that I’d still be grumpy in the morning.

Wall St sociopaths

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Published on: October 5, 2011

If there were any doubt that Wall St is populated by sociopaths, this should dispel those doubts:

Shaving the Buddha

Categories: buddhism
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Published on: September 17, 2011

I like shaving. A lot.

This might be surprising to friends and family because I frequently sport a day or two’s growth. You’d expect that as my favorite grooming activity I’d do it as frequently as possible but there’s a cap on how often you can reasonably pick up a razor without going after other parts of your anatomy.

Quite a lot of meditation is wrapped up in focus and, at least in some traditions, mindfullness. There are entire traditions based almost entirely in simply paying attention to what is going on, what you’re doing, what you’re thinking and being focused on what is as opposed to what was or might be.

I don’t think there is any other activity that so absolutely focuses the mind as drawing a piece of incredibly sharp metal across your throat. When sitting my mind wanders and drifts. When shaving there is only the blade. Lack of attention or attempting to hurry is rewarded with immediate correction. When I think about it, I’ve picked up a razor and put it to my throat far more times than I’ve sat on a cushion and attempted to train my wandering mind which is probably why, in those few moments, I have what I struggle for the rest of the day: presence and patience.

For one minute, a few times a week, everything falls away and I’m absolutely connected to what is happening. I’m not worried, I’m not afraid, all the mental static goes silent. A tool designed to divide what is one instead unites what is divided.

I’m not sure I could be prouder

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Published on: September 10, 2011

Emily has decided that she wants to sing “Still Alive” from Portal for the talent show at the end of the school year. I’ve already found a karaoke version and she’s upstairs singing.

Is Buddhism Really That Depressing?

Categories: buddhism
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Published on: September 9, 2011

I’ve been reading What Makes Me Not a Buddhist and although it’s a short book I find that it’s going very slowly. Not because the content is particularly challenging, the first couple chapters are essentially a rehash of the story of Siddhartha Gautama, but because on the surface it appears to paint a very drab and pessimistic picture of life, the universe and everything. This has to be confusing for the outsider because the general public image of Buddhism here in the west is that of smiling monks in maroon and saffron robes.

I think that things generally go awry when discussing two basic principles of Buddhism: suffering and emptiness.

Nihilists

These men are not Buddhists

I want to /facepalm every time I hear the phrase “life is suffering” uttered or written in reference to Buddhism because it is so pernicious a misstatement and so counter to our everyday experience of life. It’s no wonder that people unfamiliar with Buddhism reject it as some strange nihilistic philosophy. How can anyone accept a philosophy with the statement “life is suffering” as one of its basic principles when life so obviously can be pleasant, joyful, beautiful and even ecstatic?

Part of the problem is that the original word, tanha, doesn’t mean specifically physical suffering although that is part of it’s meaning. It also means unsatisfactory, unfulfilling, and incomplete so when we say that all emotions and pleasures are suffering it makes absolutely no sense to the casual listener and we sound like a bunch of pretentious emo douchebags.

Life is unsatisfactory and incomplete. We and yearn and ache and shop looking to find that sustaining joy or pleasure and always come up short. We know deep down that the new clothes will fade and go out of style, we know that the new car will break down and, in our honest moments, we know that we will age, sicken and die. We pursue pleasure and flee from discomfort. Our now isn’t perfect so we feel nostalgia for the past and look to the future, to the horizon, never mindful of where we are and what we are doing. Certainly everything has within it the seed of dissatisfaction but honestly, all life is suffering?

Emptiness is another phrase westerners run across with respect to Buddhism that seems to get thrown around and misunderstood. I’m not going to get into it right now but say what you like about the tenets of Buddhism, at least it’s an ethos.

The Things That Just Pop Into My Head

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Published on: September 2, 2011

It’s a Raymond Chandler evening
at the end of someone’s day
and I’m standing in my pocket
and I’m slowly turning grey

I remember what I told you
but I can’t remember why
and the yellow leaves are falling
in a spiral from the sky

There’s a body on the railings
that I can’t identify
and I’d like to reassure you
but I’m not that kind of guy.

It’s a Raymond Chandler evening
and the pavements are all wet
and I’m lurking in the shadows
because it hasn’t happened…

…yet.

Robyn Hitchcock via James O’Barr

LOL: Resistance Is Futile

Categories: gaming
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Published on: September 2, 2011

I was weak. I thought League of Legends looked pretty cool but didn’t want to pick up another game habit with SWTOR just around the corner. Unfortunately I got to talking about it with a friend who was looking for someone to play with rather than grouping with random psychopaths. So I thought, well it’s free, I’ll check it out just to see what all the hype is about ignoring the first rule of dealing with a dealer: you never accept the first one for free.

I’ve got things I need to do. There are the regular chores, my reading list, writing in this thing, guild related work, the gym, EVE… well, you get the idea. I absolutely cannot add another addictive game into the mix which is why I’m uninstalling League of Legends.

 

 

Just as soon as I’m done with this next match…

This Blog Sucks

Categories: Life
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Published on: August 25, 2011

I think that this interview with Ira Glass pretty much sums up why I’ve always bailed out of many of the creative endeavors I’ve begun. Thanks to WWdN: In Exile for bringing it to my attention.

So if you’re reading this crap blog on even a semi-regular basis (sorry Jyllian) be prepared for it to suck. A lot at first, maybe less a few years down the line. Who knows, twenty years down the line when I’m shaking my liver spotted fist at kids with their direct neural interfaces and semi-autonomous matrix zones this blog may continue to suck. Maybe I’ll achieve perfect zen beginners mind and suck as much at the end as I do at the beginning.

Which brings me to what I love about zen, nothing to achieve which takes long, difficult years full of hard work sitting down to accomplish. You achieved enlightenment? That’s nice, did you remember to take out the trash and scoop the cat box?

Author’s disclaimer: not an enlightened being by any stretch of the imagination.

It’s Like Deja Vu All Over Again

Categories: buddhism, family
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Published on: August 20, 2011

I’ve been an asshole today. It started out okay, I went out this morning and picked up donuts for my daughter and also surprised my sister-in-law and niece with some as well. There was some confusion regarding what Jyllian wanted and what I thought they were called so I picked her up a big cinnamon roll. Pickings were scarce and the bakery was like a combination mob scene and Running Man food riot.

Anyway, I was feeling all good about myself and puffed up with what a good Dad and all around great guy I was when I brought Jyllian coffee and the cinnamon roll. What I didn’t remember was that she’d gotten sick after eating a cinnamon roll a couple weeks before. She said “ugh” as her stomach rolled over and handed the plate to Emily which completely let all the air out of my inflated self esteem. I didn’t get the praise and accolades I was looking forward to. How dare she!

With my vanity wounded I barked out something that inadvertently hurt her feelings and went downstairs to nurse my bruised ego. I ended up working out in the yard; mowed the grass, cleaned up dead leaves, watered the plants and moved the woodpile to it’s new location, holding on to my anger and wounded pride the entire time. I finally had to come in as it was after noon, over a hundred degrees and I was flirting with heat stroke.

After a shower and some water I sat down in my office to finally have a cup of coffee and that cinnamon roll while I read only to find that Zak had vomited hair into the top air vent of my desktop computer. All the anger came rushing back and I spent the next hour cleaning my office and generally barking at anyone who came within twenty feet of me. I got my office clean but made my daughter cry and barked “I’m not angry!” at Jyllian which would have been funny at any other time.

The girls went out to go swimming while I continued to work on my office and clean up the house. With the quiet and lack of targets for me to blame for my assholery I had to admit that I was the one acting out and that my girls had been trying to find a way to help me feel better.

I’d love to say that I’ve learned and grown from this experience but to be honest this isn’t the first time I’ve just been a general ass to everyone around me simply because things weren’t going my way or I’d had my pride stepped on. Next time maybe I’ll pull my head out of my ass a little more quickly though.

I txted Jyllian an apology and spent some time hanging one of the strings of prayer flags she and Emily got me for Father’s Day which have been buried in the general chaos of my office. I also made space for another present that Jyllian got me, my Buddha Board, by putting my desktop machine under my desk where the cat can’t vomit on it as easily.

Tibetan prayer flagsI’ll hang the second string soon but have to trim the evil holly bush with the sharp leaves before I can get a clear run from the house to the tree. I’m sure there’s some lesson lurking in that statement but, to be honest, I’m a little too wiped out at the moment to try being profound.

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/emote
  1. monkeyhousezen - Free copy of Diablo 3!!! I'll be talking like Deckard Cain in no time.
  2. monkeyhousezen - Last night I noticed one of the mission NPCs in #swtor sounded like Morgan Freeman. Tittysprinkles.
  3. monkeyhousezen - I didn't realize I was a #gameofthrones fan until I found myself whistling the theme while doing the dishes. Who knew?
  4. monkeyhousezen - Just created my #swtor guild (Luminous Beings) and feel a little like the Merovingian: very well, let us see where this goes.
  5. monkeyhousezen - @realdarthhater What would I add to #swtor at release? Color matching gear to the chest piece. I hate wearing the clown suit.

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